When Thoughts Spill... I let them...sometimes.

Hej Hej!

I’m working at the library currently (as a librarian) but I’m incessantly distracted by my thoughts…! So, perhaps if I type them, they will have a way to escape and I will be able to focus on homework later rather than the other things jumbling around my consciousness.

Sorry! This isn’t even an update on my adventures… which have been amazing… I think I’m still trying to quantify their significance… but I will add a few pictures at the end… just to give you a little idea… but don’t worry! Hopefully… I will write about them in a few days…

My thoughts this very instant:

I was thinking about a combination of things such as what I learned this semester… coupled with a personal trait recently pointed out to me by a friend…my commitment to remain uncommitted… he thought my commitment spanned throughout all aspects of life… people, places, thoughts, opinions, decisions… but I would argue that I am very committed to the people I hold most dear… although it becomes so much more difficult and time consuming as you continue through life, gathering more and more people you find worth committing some amount of care to. It seems inevitable for the list to grow as time on earth lengthens and new communication devices exponentially populate the senses…

The remainder of the list of my commitment avoidances are, however, fairly accurate in some frame of mind… thoughts, opinions, decisions…. I’m not quite sure of it, but if I can assume and evaluation of myself it would not contain any statements of fact… I don’t really believe in those, mostly because I could say the very opposite and it may also be true (I rarely can take people seriously who assert their opinions as fact… this is one of the things that I can’t stand!!!) If I ever did say something of the fact sort, I would probably immediately follow up with the very opposite statement and give it some sort of merit also…

As for opinions… I am committed to what I think, and I believe it’s very important to do so (think, I mean)… but I only believe in opinions which are situational based… not the kind of opinions which extend across thought… in other words generalizations… hate those!

So! Ha! I do know what I think about things, but the catch is that the only things which (I think) can merit a thought are situational; therefore, I would not be inclined to pick a general stance on any issue. I would not claim to think a certain something, to be a certain someone, time is fluid, and every second is new!

And just as I claim that I do not claim is actually claiming something for certain, and yet if you know me…I would claim to be unclaiming in an uncertain –maybe awkward and dreamy way, complete with hmmms, ‘I don’t knows’ and unfinished phrases… just to remain un-pin-pointed… If someone cannot draw a conclusion about me, I feel so much more free… is that weird? To feel tied down by someone else’s thoughts? Well, I do.

Don’t get me wrong… haha, or at all… none of this (what sounds like an act) is rehearsed… it’s something I just realized that I have repeatedly done and said… and now it seems kind of funny actually… I guess I never take time to think about me… and it seems that it’s kind of interesting when you do take time to think about yourself…

Oh and there are actually one or two timeless world issues which I would actually claim to have a very strong general (un-situational) opinion about… these stances are the only things I would ever allow myself to think one-sidedly about.

Somehow what I learned in school this semester is related to the above nonsense…

What have I learned in school? (What I have learned in my time spent here is an entirely different question, by the way… so don’t get confused about that…)

-hmmm… It has nothing to do with business… ha.

But really… I’ve already learned all the things taught in my business classes here in DK (besides how many countries the EU consists of) also in previous classes at St. Thomas… and again…didn’t find most of it worth remembering… It’s easy to grasp the general concepts; the terminology just seems too much of a bother. Details Shmetails.
On the other hand… details are very important to me in other areas… and what is being discussed here are not even details… terminology, I mean… it’s really just the captivation of a thought… the bonds being constructs of spoken language. I don’t like things in cages.

It’s hard to like or take seriously things that are too literally captured… what’s the fun in that? Squeezing out all the imagination…

My thoughts on business have remained the same since before the semester began…

Ayn Rand sums these thoughts up well… “A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.”

…in business school we are taught to use others weaknesses in order to capitalize on our strengths.

…I guess that is what being competitive consists of…

Everything having to do with this way of thinking is completely unnatural to me…

I have never lived any part of my life competitively, but I have found so much success in the way that I live it… I think if people say that are not competitive, people think that they just don’t care… but that’s really not it at all (in my case, at least) I care so much… too much probably… but my achievements and care are always based on what I think is perfection… and my view of perfection has nothing to do with anyone else… so, it would make no sense trying to compete with others… I don’t ever aim to be compared… nor would I like to be.

It makes me happy to think that there exists such a rich life outside of the teachings of business… being taught to consistently evaluate others and measure personal worth and success in comparison to others… this is the world of business (to me)… or, no, actually it is how we are taught to think about it… but I just don’t agree. So, if I ever own a business, it will not be based upon what I have learned about business… oh wait wait! ...but I am not denouncing my education… it was needed… for understanding purposes.

In my opinion, this kind of businessy thinking style is not able to be independently innovative… even if independently and originally innovative is an impossible whim, it would more closely be attained by someone who did not directly pay attention to others in aim to defeat them… but then again, most people probably are most interested in being competitive, which I guess makes my way of life refreshing to hear about maybe, but also probably largely irrelevant to most of the world.

…I’m just not interested in doing things the way they are done… they are already done that way! ...which seems to be one of the only reasons (a lot of times) that they are done that way.

If people cared more or thought more about what they were doing, they might realized that when a chocolate chip cookie recipe calls for one cup of chocolate chips… you don’t have to add a cup of chocolate chips… if it were me, I would add 2 cups… extra vanilla, and probably some walnuts or something… whatever is in the cupboard… coconut? I would also not bake the last tray for the full amount of time… just to have a few squishy ones… salmonella anyone?

…Oh here’s another fun one… if you were eating breakfast, would you rather have a plain bowl of cereal (there’s nothing wrong with that), a bowl of cereal with bananas, strawberries, and blueberries mixed in and granola sprinkled on top, or hash browns, eggs, and pancakes? Decide now.

OK… now, do you actually eat the one that you decided? If not, why? Time? Money? Time is not an excuse… unless you're using it elsewhere, for something you value more that breakfast… like sleep, for example… or maybe you should just go to sleep a little earlier… then what would you be giving up? An hour fiddling on facebook…? Is that more important than a good breakfast? … I suppose it probably is for some people… haha. Well, not me… unless I was chatting with one of my long lost friends, of course.

Money is sadly a very good excuse.

I also thought of another fun thing to clarify… I always hold a dislike for money… I have even committed this thought to words, yep… I’ve said “I don’t like money!” but, I have never bothered to really elaborate on this statement, and it could be interpreted in so many different ways… but I think what I mean is something that has to do with its use. Money is a medium with which man can express himself… which seems, sadly, to point out that it just might be people that I don’t like… But, that doesn’t make a lot of sense because I also love people… but it really is such a medium that makes a man’s inner values and intentions physically and materially visible… so, I guess it’s not money that I dislike… it’s the idea that people just aren’t as nice, compassionate, practical, or thoughtful as I imagine, or wish them to be… hmmm… too idealistic… but that’s the way I like to be… even though it prescribes a higher level of disappointment when dealing with things beyond your control… such as people… people are something which I never never hope to control… no no no! Personal choice and thought are at the very tip top of my values.

It bothers me when there are sides to choose… I don’t pay much attention to politics –picking sides doesn’t make you ignorant… but it allows you to be.

People say generalizations are helpful… I suppose that could be, but I have a hard time believing they are more helpful than harmful…

For instance, 2 general views on life: Ayn Rand (brilliant philosopher/writer probably many more things) VS. Vaslav Nijinsky (brilliant, mentally disturbed Russian ballet dancer, choreographer, and artist)

Ayn Rand: Life is best lived while lived for yourself… charity is disgusting, and goes to the undeserving.

Vaslav Nijinski: Life is best lived while lived for others… charity is imperative and should go to all who (seemingly) cannot help themselves.

I agree with both (not in the sense that charity is disgusting) But, I also disagree with both.. They both present problems.

Two people so concerned with being right… yet neither will ever be. It’s funny to me that in their own mind, they really thought they were right.

Rand… perhaps charity does go to the undeserved, but there has to be some one deserving… right? What about kids who aren’t old enough to realize and take control of the direction in which their life is headed…? They seem like deserving candidates…it’s not their fault if they have been born under a bridge… that would be the mother and fathers fault, based on their past actions. What about a family who’s house has burned down? I probably could think of millions of situations which seem to be deserving of charity… Also, Rand’s ideal world would likely produce and incredible unpleasant disparity between people… and the world needs taking care of… not just individual people… does that count as charity? Hmmm I don’t know. It’s an action that would not only be benefiting the actor, but many other things outside his or her sphere.

Nijinsky… if you keep giving to people, they will be handicapped by kindness! …which means that they don’t have to pick themselves up… because others are more willing and able to… and then they will remain in a cycle for the helpless… so, is charity actually secretly cruel to its receiver? Yes… sometimes. Be careful of how you help people… It’s only beneficial long-term if you are helping them to help themselves… which seems tricky…

So, I’m done now…

Hopefully this post doesn’t sound arrogant or something of that sort… but I suppose that is up to you… Everyone has a right to evaluate their world… enjoy it!

This is very long… oh my.

Ok here are a few pictures of the places I have been in the last month…

Berlin

Prague

Bangkok

Thailand:

An Island

The Other Side of the Island

The Jungle near Chiang Mai

A Chiang Mai Market

A Different Part of the Jungle Near Chiang Mai

A Temple in Bangkok

I ended up going quite a few places in Thailand.... Bangkok, Rangsit (where Erik goes to school (it's a suburb of Bangkok)) Gosemet Island (I really don't know how to spell it) in the South... Chiang Mai in the North, and also Konkhan, which is also in the North.

I also accomplished my hopes... which was to wander/swing through beaches, mountians, and jungles... along with many other things...! So... many many more stories and picture to come from this trip!

Ok, That was a lot of thought spilling...

And now I have to go fishing...

Goodbye! Have a lovely day!